Foster fell asleep in my arms today, forcing me to have to try to sell Expresso stickers with only one hand. Yet again, I have been foiled from achieving success for the day. If I didn’t know better, I would think this child was purposely trying to keep me at his side for his own selfish purposes. It is abundantly clear to me that he is neglected from receiving the proper love and warmth.
After about an hour of holding him, I felt secure enough to rest him gently in his stroller without waking his devilish soul. I used the opportunity to walk back to the bookstore to return my copy of “How To Select Your Perfect Mate”. I confess, I had put off the humiliating task for a couple days as I was desperately afraid that I would be caught placing the book back on the shelf and then mercilessly questioned.
I hated myself for taking the book, however, I couldn’t stand the embarrassment of buying it. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be seeking out advice on finding the right man rather than living a life filled with love and happiness. I thought for certain, by now Ohranj and I would be married and our love and admiration for one another would be the envy of every one of our friends and co-workers. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because it hits me like a bolt of lightning that I am still single. Even after ten months, it’s surreal that I am without a husband.
Once I arrived at the bookstore, I headed to the furthest corner, dropped the book on the floor, and then scurried out as quickly as possible. I didn’t even wait for the automatic handicap doors to open. I flung the doors opens and shimmied Foster’s stroller through the gap as quickly as I could and kept running despite a jarring blow to my ankle.
The Secret of Success 